Ontario Works / Welfare vs Disability - Happy News
I thought 2013 would be my year. I had been battling with my condition for two years and I knew it was time for a change. It seems as though fate has not dealt me that hand, yet. It has been even more rough and difficult.
From the very first of January 2013 to this moment, I have had some of the most rough moments of my life. It's hard to deal with so much. I haven't felt like my usual strong self but for some reason lately I've been gaining that confidence back.
Recently upon breaking free from everyone, I have focused on myself. I know the saying is true, you are the keeper of your own destiny. Therefore despite it all, I'm going to try to relax, find joy, true joy, great happiness and not let this pain and misfortune continue to take over every aspect of my life.
One great thing that has happened this year was that I was granted disability a couple weeks ago. YIPPPPEEEE. I never thought in my life that anyone would feel that way about disability but it truly means the world to me. I told my bf and he had the most profound response, that has literally stuck in my head.
Me - "It's like winning the lottery. I know it's not much but it's just such an unbelievable relief."
Bf - "It's better than winning the lottery. It's justice."
You never know how hard Ontario Works (OW)/Welfare can be unless you are on it. I felt like I was a criminal the whole time. It literally made me feel horrible. The feeling is still residual. The system was hell and it stressed me out every day. My life was invaded continually. I constantly had to keep proving myself and was constantly looked upon and treated in a derogatory manner since moving to this new region. The last place I lived, they got to know me and realized I wasn't a bad guy and started treating me better. They were literally upset when they new I was moving. "You're one of the my good clients". One of the good ones. They must have such a hard job. I've been in those waiting rooms. I know. I've seen outbursts. I've seen the lies. I've seen them trying to swindle money, bus tickets etc. from their workers. I can't believe I can say I miss the old office, even if they gave me some detrimental advice a few times. The new office, not so much. I will never miss any of it. It sucks that there are bad people out there who ruin it for the people who really need it. Now going through it, I'm not surprised that so many people turn to crime, depression and do lie because it's no way to live. How can one live on $550 a month, $6600 a year in Canada with no help, no alternatives? You are forced to live with others in sketchy neighbourhoods with no possessions, no car, no presents and sometimes no food. It really in my mind seems to beget a negative downfall. I know that many people aren't in my position. I had a bad draw in situations. I received my disability while in school, so I could not collect EI. My condition is rare and took time to diagnose and then be approved for disability, so OW is the last resort for people like me. Normally on OW you are suppose to be continually looking for work like EI, thus the name Ontario WORKS. From the very beginning my neurologist provided the forms saying that I could not work but my case workers although abiding by that didn't seem to really believe my condition until I was approved for disability. Calling disability offices while trying to get approval was day and night from OW. They were so utterly nice, kind and helpful. Although they did tell me I had to wait a year to apply, which isn't true. That would of made a big difference. Literally once I was approved it was like a spontaneous flash of change with OW as well. All of a sudden they seemed to get that I'm not "faking it" as I know some are and I'm really going through something difficult. You think though, that with my continuous neurological reports, that it was obvious, I'm a mess. I am not too surprised though. I went to a meeting back at my old office about how to get disability. It was a room of 20 people and no one was forced to say what their illness was but many did and so many seemed so fake. I really think only a couple of those people had cause for disability claims. I know my chronic illness is hidden and I know each person has problems but many of them were trying to figure out how they could find a doctor that would say they were disabled enough to not work because they couldn't. It was disgusting. More so I talked with the guy who held the meeting and he said some of the most inappropriate things to me afterwords. At the time I thought I was dealing with head trauma related issues due to post concussion syndrome and what I should include in the personal write up. I told him my big disabling factors of migraines, dizziness, nausea, inability to stand, etc. So I was talking to him about that and the only thing he said to me, involved many probing questions into my possible "sex life". That is all he said to me. Let's just say I left quickly and ignored the many "helpful hints" from that man.
I'm also glad I didn't take the advice of legal aid and cancel my original form and reapply as I would of missed out on 4-5 months of back pay. It seems like he just didn't want to take on my case. There really seems like no other reason as to why he thought I should reapply. I told him my neurologist would fill out a new form saying my new condition was found and relevant back to when I applied as he said was needed but he was very adamant in telling me I should cancel my first app. and reapply. Despite that, I am very happy for my legal aid lawyer and without him, I would be no where as he was able to get disclosure and figure out what I was missing in my application. It really was trivial and if you aren't an expert you would have no idea. I think the system purposely makes it hard, which for someone whom actually has a disability is so trying. The legal aid system also seems so disorganized. I had to literally laugh at my final "sign-off" letter, the lawyer completely described someone else's case instead of mine talking about a psychiatrist not a neurologist information and some random events that make no sense to me. I also loved the part where it says they've enclosed a "how did we do" questionnaire. Yep, you guessed it, there was no questionnaire. Despite having to fight so hard and do seemingly so much myself, I highly recommend anyone seeking disability to talk to a legal aid lawyer and truly ask for what you need from your doctor (they really don't know). Legal aid knows best and can at least give you the information for you to decipher what you need. I do suggest though that you look into everything they say before making a decision and do what is best for you. Although my neurologist was optimistic and messed up my disability application in the first place when he thought my problems were just post concussion by writing that my condition would probably last less than a year (it had already been a year and a half) which he later retracted, he was absolutely instrumental and went out of his way to fill out forms, write letters and all without charge. I know many do not have such a luxury, a doctor that sees what you are going through and is willing to fight for you. I am very grateful. It seems the last letter that the lawyer requested from him, overturned the "not disabled" decision and cancelled the trial (which would of been tomorrow). I'm so happy I don't have to go to trial although as it would of been in the am, they probably would have seen how bad I am. Mornings suck.
I hope that my specialists and I can work out a plan to fight my symptoms better and I am somehow able to go off disability in the future. It still is not much money but it can cover at least the cost of food and shelter more reasonably than before. It also has a lot less restrictions like allowing me to leave the province now and again. I think I might also be able to own a car, which would save the government tons of money for the transportation cost to all my medical appointments. They apparently give you cab money. My appointments are sometimes an 1.5 hr drive one way. I can't even imagine the cab costs. I just want to get back on my feet, some way, some how. I'm a stubborn girl of Irish farming decent and I'm extremely persistent. I know I can't "beat" my lifelong disorder but I hope I can "live", truly live with it because you can't really call what I'm doing now living. I want there to be a time I can leave my house, more than once a week. I want to not feel this constant pressure of how am I going to survive. Will I ever find a livelihood again? There are still so many questions but maybe I can have some breathing room to figure out how to get slightly better.
The other great joy of disability are that I might finally be able to get some assisted devices that would really help me monitor and deal with my disorder. I've been avoiding many of them because I'm embarrassed and first and foremost I don't have money to buy them. I don't want anyone to stare at me. I don't want to admit I'm ill. I don't want pity. It seems though, that I must find humility and realize what I have to do. My bf said to me the other week though, you need it. It's simple but true. I do. I need a chair in the shower, so I don't have to have baths all the time. I can't stand and sitting on the bottom of the tub showers take forever with getting shampoo out of long chair. I can handle the blood pressure monitor as uncool as it is and am hoping that I might be able to get a scale that can measure my hydration and muscle mass, to make sure I have enough hydration (I need a million times more than most people) and am not loosing all my muscle do to such inactivity. I also have to watch I don't gain too much weight with the steroids. I might have to get some oh so hot compression stockings. I'm still contemplating a walker. There I said it. Ugh. So embarrassing. I can walk decently most days but I hate to admit that a walker would make my life easier when I am out and about. I can't stand for long periods of time without moving. As well moving/ too much activity can also make me sick. Other times I'm just ill and I don't know why. So standing in lines at stores and really anywhere sucks. Also if I'm feeling ill generally I need to sit down and there aren't always places to sit. Everywhere I go, I run for a cart now, even if all I need are a couple tomatoes at the grocery store. I do this so that I can literally lean my whole body on the cart when I feel ill. Even still I find myself checking out items on the "bottom shelf" or "tying my shoe" that has no laces for ever, so that I can crouch down to try and get the blood back into my upper body and brain, so I don't collapse, as there's no where to sit. I still can't bring myself to getting a walker but the fact that they have seats on them and I can lean on them just makes so much sense. I might have to ride the denial train on that one for a bit longer. I'm really turning into a grandma and I'm only turning 30 this year.
I'm happy that disability will start to give me a life again. It literally brings me to tears thinking about it. I don't have to stress every day. I can actually focus on myself, mentally and physically, which I really need to do right now when so many difficult things are happening in my life. I might even be able to see a dentist, that I can talk to about my TMJ, that I probably received from my head injury. It really negatively effects my head and makes my migraines incomprehensible at time. Really disability and these tools are invaluable to my life.
I must also say that a good dose of family, Easter/birthday celebrations, a good friend who brings me some St. Ambroise's Apricot beer on a rough day and gets me out of the house, ART + DESIGN and late night I'm dying for to eat eggs episodes of laughter really help my soul immensely.
Who knew that approval of disability, ie making maybe $13 000 a year and the possibility of a walker could make someone so happy? One thing down, now to work on others.
From the very first of January 2013 to this moment, I have had some of the most rough moments of my life. It's hard to deal with so much. I haven't felt like my usual strong self but for some reason lately I've been gaining that confidence back.
Recently upon breaking free from everyone, I have focused on myself. I know the saying is true, you are the keeper of your own destiny. Therefore despite it all, I'm going to try to relax, find joy, true joy, great happiness and not let this pain and misfortune continue to take over every aspect of my life.
One great thing that has happened this year was that I was granted disability a couple weeks ago. YIPPPPEEEE. I never thought in my life that anyone would feel that way about disability but it truly means the world to me. I told my bf and he had the most profound response, that has literally stuck in my head.
Me - "It's like winning the lottery. I know it's not much but it's just such an unbelievable relief."
Bf - "It's better than winning the lottery. It's justice."
You never know how hard Ontario Works (OW)/Welfare can be unless you are on it. I felt like I was a criminal the whole time. It literally made me feel horrible. The feeling is still residual. The system was hell and it stressed me out every day. My life was invaded continually. I constantly had to keep proving myself and was constantly looked upon and treated in a derogatory manner since moving to this new region. The last place I lived, they got to know me and realized I wasn't a bad guy and started treating me better. They were literally upset when they new I was moving. "You're one of the my good clients". One of the good ones. They must have such a hard job. I've been in those waiting rooms. I know. I've seen outbursts. I've seen the lies. I've seen them trying to swindle money, bus tickets etc. from their workers. I can't believe I can say I miss the old office, even if they gave me some detrimental advice a few times. The new office, not so much. I will never miss any of it. It sucks that there are bad people out there who ruin it for the people who really need it. Now going through it, I'm not surprised that so many people turn to crime, depression and do lie because it's no way to live. How can one live on $550 a month, $6600 a year in Canada with no help, no alternatives? You are forced to live with others in sketchy neighbourhoods with no possessions, no car, no presents and sometimes no food. It really in my mind seems to beget a negative downfall. I know that many people aren't in my position. I had a bad draw in situations. I received my disability while in school, so I could not collect EI. My condition is rare and took time to diagnose and then be approved for disability, so OW is the last resort for people like me. Normally on OW you are suppose to be continually looking for work like EI, thus the name Ontario WORKS. From the very beginning my neurologist provided the forms saying that I could not work but my case workers although abiding by that didn't seem to really believe my condition until I was approved for disability. Calling disability offices while trying to get approval was day and night from OW. They were so utterly nice, kind and helpful. Although they did tell me I had to wait a year to apply, which isn't true. That would of made a big difference. Literally once I was approved it was like a spontaneous flash of change with OW as well. All of a sudden they seemed to get that I'm not "faking it" as I know some are and I'm really going through something difficult. You think though, that with my continuous neurological reports, that it was obvious, I'm a mess. I am not too surprised though. I went to a meeting back at my old office about how to get disability. It was a room of 20 people and no one was forced to say what their illness was but many did and so many seemed so fake. I really think only a couple of those people had cause for disability claims. I know my chronic illness is hidden and I know each person has problems but many of them were trying to figure out how they could find a doctor that would say they were disabled enough to not work because they couldn't. It was disgusting. More so I talked with the guy who held the meeting and he said some of the most inappropriate things to me afterwords. At the time I thought I was dealing with head trauma related issues due to post concussion syndrome and what I should include in the personal write up. I told him my big disabling factors of migraines, dizziness, nausea, inability to stand, etc. So I was talking to him about that and the only thing he said to me, involved many probing questions into my possible "sex life". That is all he said to me. Let's just say I left quickly and ignored the many "helpful hints" from that man.
I'm also glad I didn't take the advice of legal aid and cancel my original form and reapply as I would of missed out on 4-5 months of back pay. It seems like he just didn't want to take on my case. There really seems like no other reason as to why he thought I should reapply. I told him my neurologist would fill out a new form saying my new condition was found and relevant back to when I applied as he said was needed but he was very adamant in telling me I should cancel my first app. and reapply. Despite that, I am very happy for my legal aid lawyer and without him, I would be no where as he was able to get disclosure and figure out what I was missing in my application. It really was trivial and if you aren't an expert you would have no idea. I think the system purposely makes it hard, which for someone whom actually has a disability is so trying. The legal aid system also seems so disorganized. I had to literally laugh at my final "sign-off" letter, the lawyer completely described someone else's case instead of mine talking about a psychiatrist not a neurologist information and some random events that make no sense to me. I also loved the part where it says they've enclosed a "how did we do" questionnaire. Yep, you guessed it, there was no questionnaire. Despite having to fight so hard and do seemingly so much myself, I highly recommend anyone seeking disability to talk to a legal aid lawyer and truly ask for what you need from your doctor (they really don't know). Legal aid knows best and can at least give you the information for you to decipher what you need. I do suggest though that you look into everything they say before making a decision and do what is best for you. Although my neurologist was optimistic and messed up my disability application in the first place when he thought my problems were just post concussion by writing that my condition would probably last less than a year (it had already been a year and a half) which he later retracted, he was absolutely instrumental and went out of his way to fill out forms, write letters and all without charge. I know many do not have such a luxury, a doctor that sees what you are going through and is willing to fight for you. I am very grateful. It seems the last letter that the lawyer requested from him, overturned the "not disabled" decision and cancelled the trial (which would of been tomorrow). I'm so happy I don't have to go to trial although as it would of been in the am, they probably would have seen how bad I am. Mornings suck.
I hope that my specialists and I can work out a plan to fight my symptoms better and I am somehow able to go off disability in the future. It still is not much money but it can cover at least the cost of food and shelter more reasonably than before. It also has a lot less restrictions like allowing me to leave the province now and again. I think I might also be able to own a car, which would save the government tons of money for the transportation cost to all my medical appointments. They apparently give you cab money. My appointments are sometimes an 1.5 hr drive one way. I can't even imagine the cab costs. I just want to get back on my feet, some way, some how. I'm a stubborn girl of Irish farming decent and I'm extremely persistent. I know I can't "beat" my lifelong disorder but I hope I can "live", truly live with it because you can't really call what I'm doing now living. I want there to be a time I can leave my house, more than once a week. I want to not feel this constant pressure of how am I going to survive. Will I ever find a livelihood again? There are still so many questions but maybe I can have some breathing room to figure out how to get slightly better.
The other great joy of disability are that I might finally be able to get some assisted devices that would really help me monitor and deal with my disorder. I've been avoiding many of them because I'm embarrassed and first and foremost I don't have money to buy them. I don't want anyone to stare at me. I don't want to admit I'm ill. I don't want pity. It seems though, that I must find humility and realize what I have to do. My bf said to me the other week though, you need it. It's simple but true. I do. I need a chair in the shower, so I don't have to have baths all the time. I can't stand and sitting on the bottom of the tub showers take forever with getting shampoo out of long chair. I can handle the blood pressure monitor as uncool as it is and am hoping that I might be able to get a scale that can measure my hydration and muscle mass, to make sure I have enough hydration (I need a million times more than most people) and am not loosing all my muscle do to such inactivity. I also have to watch I don't gain too much weight with the steroids. I might have to get some oh so hot compression stockings. I'm still contemplating a walker. There I said it. Ugh. So embarrassing. I can walk decently most days but I hate to admit that a walker would make my life easier when I am out and about. I can't stand for long periods of time without moving. As well moving/ too much activity can also make me sick. Other times I'm just ill and I don't know why. So standing in lines at stores and really anywhere sucks. Also if I'm feeling ill generally I need to sit down and there aren't always places to sit. Everywhere I go, I run for a cart now, even if all I need are a couple tomatoes at the grocery store. I do this so that I can literally lean my whole body on the cart when I feel ill. Even still I find myself checking out items on the "bottom shelf" or "tying my shoe" that has no laces for ever, so that I can crouch down to try and get the blood back into my upper body and brain, so I don't collapse, as there's no where to sit. I still can't bring myself to getting a walker but the fact that they have seats on them and I can lean on them just makes so much sense. I might have to ride the denial train on that one for a bit longer. I'm really turning into a grandma and I'm only turning 30 this year.
I'm happy that disability will start to give me a life again. It literally brings me to tears thinking about it. I don't have to stress every day. I can actually focus on myself, mentally and physically, which I really need to do right now when so many difficult things are happening in my life. I might even be able to see a dentist, that I can talk to about my TMJ, that I probably received from my head injury. It really negatively effects my head and makes my migraines incomprehensible at time. Really disability and these tools are invaluable to my life.
I must also say that a good dose of family, Easter/birthday celebrations, a good friend who brings me some St. Ambroise's Apricot beer on a rough day and gets me out of the house, ART + DESIGN and late night I'm dying for to eat eggs episodes of laughter really help my soul immensely.
Who knew that approval of disability, ie making maybe $13 000 a year and the possibility of a walker could make someone so happy? One thing down, now to work on others.
Yeah again for your good news!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I like the new simple design theme. I dunno about the walker though, I'd go for an electric wheel chair, and hot-rod it out! But that's me...
Thanks! I like simple CLEAN lines. Hot rod wheelchair sounds great but I feel like I'd be saying "excuse me" every two seconds. Maybe they have a super duper slim version. LOL.
DeleteI am trying to get diagnosed with POTS too! I recently did a loop recorder and the report says "sinus tachycardia"! I've been previously diagnosed with fibro/CFS but I am getting worse, the racing heart is getting much worse. The last 2 days I tried to work and couldn't (I work at Tim Horton's) I went home early, and now the last day I could not even stand 20 minutes, I had to go sit down my heart was racing so bad, and they said I am unreliable and they took me off the schedule but I can't blame them really, but I can't stand there, even on reduced shifts (been on 6 hr shifts for years) They sent me home the last day in a taxi, I couldn't walk home, but the last thing I said to them was "nobody can say I didn't try"! I see my doc tomorrow, going to ask him for a note so I can apply for welfare and ODSP, I applied for ODSP years ago when diagnosed with CFS but was denied. This time I am sicker. Any advice for me PLEASE? Thank you for sharing your story! Where in Ontario are you? I am in Brantford. Thanks again for your inspiring story!
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of a loop recorder. What is that? If you think you have POTS, try taking your heart rate while laying down and then check it again while you are standing. If it rises 30 beats per minute or over 120 bmp then definitely talk to a doctor. If that doctor won't listen, go to a different one. I wish you the best. I'm so sorry to hear about your job. As for ODSP, it is a necessary evil, in my opinion, when there are no other resorts and you are ill. I say evil, only because, those I know who aren't using the system, wish they could work instead, so it's a hard thing to do. It also isn't much money. My advice would be to get a good doctor behind you and have testing to back it up. Try getting a letter from your former employer too on how you couldn't do your job? I live near London now. Let me know if I can ever help. You are so welcome.
DeleteA loop recorder is a type of heart monitor where when you have symptoms you press a button and it records for 1 minute or perhaps a minute and a half, I can't remember. Then after 4 recordings you have to clear it by transmitting the recordings over a telephone line.
DeleteYou mention that POTS is 'relatively rare' and I keep reading that as well, but my doctor told me the wait to get in to see one of the 2 specialists in Ontario who diagnose POTS is "one to two years"! I wonder if it's that rare why is the wait so long? And mine seems to be the relapsing/remitting type, so if I'm not flaring the day I go in to see him then what? What you suggested is what I'm planning on doing - next time I flare up real bad I will go see my doctor or go to the walk-in clinic (you don't know what doctor you'll see but they all have access to my file and my doctor will see it) and get them to do a 'poor man's tilt table test' on me. I think that way is more accurate anyway as your legs are supporting you and they can see what your HR does with actual standing, not the table supporting you. I never know when I'll flare up though. Yeah it's clear I can't do a standing job anymore. Some days I feel I could go back, but next time this happens then what? Any employer is going to get fed up with someone who keeps disappearing for a couple of weeks, I really am unreliable due to this stupid POTS! The letter is a good idea - I think they'd do that! Thanks!
The loop recorder sounds more accurate than a regular heart monitor at getting to the route of the issue. With POTS though, 4 recordings isn't enough. I'd be transmitting all day. They say it's relatively rare but with only a few specialist compared to the population of Canada, it's a lot of people to see and follow up with. I have not heard of a relapsing type. Maybe it's more like vaso vagal, in that it's brought on only in certain situations? I don't know. Every time I stand my heart rate goes up 30+, over a 120 bpm most of the time, even with the meds. Everyone is different though, but that is the diagnoses requirements. Just try writing down sitting and standing heart rates on your own without a doctor. Bring it to a doctor and show them. It might get them to understand more. I wish you the best.
DeleteHey it's me again. Couple questions: Why did the disability people lie to you & say that you had to wait a year to apply??!! Also why did legal aid give you the run-around saying to cancel your first application - was he trying to rip you off of the 5 months back pay?
ReplyDeleteI do not know why they lied. You need to have a disability that will last a year or more so maybe they assumed I would have to prove it had been happening for a year, and would then wait but the process takes so long that you could always start it right away. Secondly the doctor can just say that with the diagnosis that it medically will last for a year or more. As for legal aid, I don't know either. I believe that they were overrun with work and maybe it was the easy way to not have to do extra work? Secondly it would probably have made it easier and more straight forward to reapply with my doctors form that stated exactly what they needed to hear (that we were clueless of) and not have to add changes to my original application. Also you only receive back pay to the nearest first of the month from the day you applied. They said they received my application I believe on the 2nd, so the nearest 1st of the month was the next month, so I lost that whole month of pay. I hope that makes sense to you. It's complicated but I think a very poor rule.
Delete