Marriage and Disability Do Not Go Hand in Hand
Not that my boyfriend and I are at a point to consider marriage but if we wanted to I would loose my disability be in more poverty than we are now. In Canada, if you want to get married and are disabled you are screwed.
I feel that such a situation makes for a perpetuating system of mental health issues and means that no one can figure a way out of the financial rut of disability unless they are blessed with someone who makes a lot of money or who comes from a lot of money.
Who wants to be with a person for life that will almost definitely mean that they will be below the poverty line let alone dealing with the actual disability part?
We have broken up recently, actually quite a few times since the beginning of the year and have had a lot of troubles, due to being different but also due to the stress physically, mentally and financially of my disorder. Many times I thought things were completely done and unreconcilable. I think often that he would be better off without me.
We do live together but I don't know how I would survive without living with him. I may be able to find a place to live with family temporarily but none of them can help look after me when I am ill in the same manner. They just don't have the time.
Our government says I can live with strangers or with my family but not with my bf. They tried to consider us common law a few times, although we have everything separate and choose to not be married or common-law. My boyfriend moved in with me because of my condition. Not that he didn't like me as well but he just moved here from Australia and although we had known each other for some time, we had just started dating. Due to my condition we were robbed of a courtship and have had troubles trying to deal with so much from the start. Really who moves in together when they first start dating?
To talk numbers, someone on disability in Ontario, Canada, tends to receive about $1060 a month. If they get married, engaged, live with someone for three months or more (not the 3 years the law says) whom isn't a close relative and have any assets/financial ties and familial/social ties, the government considers the finances of that person as part of your own. Half of what they make is deducted from your disability cheque. So once the person makes just over $2030/month, the person with disability receives nothing from the government. In this year there are 2080 working hours. If one makes just over minimum wage at about $13/hour, you would be making $2253 a month gross. I believe they take into consideration taxes and consider your net earnings not gross but still, it is not much to live on. So basically if your partner works, you don't get disability.
Can you imagine two people, one with a disability and a lot of extra needs, living on about $13 an hour, $27 000/year?
Even the income of your children, once they are 18 can be deducted from your disability. I get the idea behind all this to a certain extent as in if everyone around you is making a lot of money they can help you out but in our system it's not a lot of money, it's a very small amount. It punishes someone for their disability and it punishes those around them. One it forces people to help you out, even if they don't want to and some don't so you then find many people with disabilities etc. in shelters. It makes you have no independence and no sense of self. When you have no ability to work and doctors say you can't work, what else are you suppose to do? It forces them to live in poverty while they are already going through so much pain, trials and tribulations.
I think and worry about money every day, even on disability. I wonder so often how I am going to pay for things. How I wish my life were different in this respect. How I wish that I could of finished my degree in architecture and pursued my dream of becoming a full fledged Architect. I'm not one to give up on anything I'm very persistent but I'm also very realistic. I would have to get a heck of a lot better but I'm not ruling anything out even if they say it's a life long ailment.
Every day I try to think of a way to make a living with my condition. To somehow work even though I am unreliable and can't have any set schedule, nor leave the house or my bed at times.
I feel that such a situation makes for a perpetuating system of mental health issues and means that no one can figure a way out of the financial rut of disability unless they are blessed with someone who makes a lot of money or who comes from a lot of money.
Who wants to be with a person for life that will almost definitely mean that they will be below the poverty line let alone dealing with the actual disability part?
We have broken up recently, actually quite a few times since the beginning of the year and have had a lot of troubles, due to being different but also due to the stress physically, mentally and financially of my disorder. Many times I thought things were completely done and unreconcilable. I think often that he would be better off without me.
We do live together but I don't know how I would survive without living with him. I may be able to find a place to live with family temporarily but none of them can help look after me when I am ill in the same manner. They just don't have the time.
Our government says I can live with strangers or with my family but not with my bf. They tried to consider us common law a few times, although we have everything separate and choose to not be married or common-law. My boyfriend moved in with me because of my condition. Not that he didn't like me as well but he just moved here from Australia and although we had known each other for some time, we had just started dating. Due to my condition we were robbed of a courtship and have had troubles trying to deal with so much from the start. Really who moves in together when they first start dating?
To talk numbers, someone on disability in Ontario, Canada, tends to receive about $1060 a month. If they get married, engaged, live with someone for three months or more (not the 3 years the law says) whom isn't a close relative and have any assets/financial ties and familial/social ties, the government considers the finances of that person as part of your own. Half of what they make is deducted from your disability cheque. So once the person makes just over $2030/month, the person with disability receives nothing from the government. In this year there are 2080 working hours. If one makes just over minimum wage at about $13/hour, you would be making $2253 a month gross. I believe they take into consideration taxes and consider your net earnings not gross but still, it is not much to live on. So basically if your partner works, you don't get disability.
Can you imagine two people, one with a disability and a lot of extra needs, living on about $13 an hour, $27 000/year?
Even the income of your children, once they are 18 can be deducted from your disability. I get the idea behind all this to a certain extent as in if everyone around you is making a lot of money they can help you out but in our system it's not a lot of money, it's a very small amount. It punishes someone for their disability and it punishes those around them. One it forces people to help you out, even if they don't want to and some don't so you then find many people with disabilities etc. in shelters. It makes you have no independence and no sense of self. When you have no ability to work and doctors say you can't work, what else are you suppose to do? It forces them to live in poverty while they are already going through so much pain, trials and tribulations.
I think and worry about money every day, even on disability. I wonder so often how I am going to pay for things. How I wish my life were different in this respect. How I wish that I could of finished my degree in architecture and pursued my dream of becoming a full fledged Architect. I'm not one to give up on anything I'm very persistent but I'm also very realistic. I would have to get a heck of a lot better but I'm not ruling anything out even if they say it's a life long ailment.
Every day I try to think of a way to make a living with my condition. To somehow work even though I am unreliable and can't have any set schedule, nor leave the house or my bed at times.
This is a great article all the way back from 2008 that still applies although the amount now is a bit more. It brings about some great points as well.
http://suite101.com/article/reforming-disability-benefits-in-ontario-a128927
I am glad that our government made a separate disability category with more money from those on Welfare/Ontario Works but the rules and stipulations should be modified as the two groups of people have very different situations and needs. Those on OW, have the ability to work.
You would think that the government would want you to find a partner as then you could split costs and hopefully one day find independence, if together you could pay for a mortgage and life costs. Then eventually the government could stop giving you allowance for housing, only for basic upkeep or something. I'm rambling in this and don't have a concrete answer on the best system but the way the system is now, it is just so sad.
Luckily here in Canada most of my medical expenses are paid for and that is beyond a god send as I could not have half the medical help I've had if it weren't the case and I think my future would be even more bleak. I love my country but it has definitely fallen short of the mark in this category.
Isn't mental and financial support just as important for one's health? Shouldn't someone with a disability be able to become common-law, get engaged and/or become married without such detriment to their life and the life of their future spouse? I am the budget queen. I have great credit and I have always been financially responsible. I have helped my bf and am continuing to do so in this manner but the fact is I'm not really sure if he completely understands what he is in for. Not only am I ill and reliant on my bf, I become his future financial shortcoming. He will always have to be on budget and be the man whom is counting all his pennies (figuratively as there is no Canadian penny anymore). This was one of my biggest fears growing up. I've spent most of my life trying to not have to constantly worry about money. Now here I am forced to do so and if my bf does want to stick it out with me, I am forcing him to do the same.
You would think that the government would want you to find a partner as then you could split costs and hopefully one day find independence, if together you could pay for a mortgage and life costs. Then eventually the government could stop giving you allowance for housing, only for basic upkeep or something. I'm rambling in this and don't have a concrete answer on the best system but the way the system is now, it is just so sad.
Luckily here in Canada most of my medical expenses are paid for and that is beyond a god send as I could not have half the medical help I've had if it weren't the case and I think my future would be even more bleak. I love my country but it has definitely fallen short of the mark in this category.
Isn't mental and financial support just as important for one's health? Shouldn't someone with a disability be able to become common-law, get engaged and/or become married without such detriment to their life and the life of their future spouse? I am the budget queen. I have great credit and I have always been financially responsible. I have helped my bf and am continuing to do so in this manner but the fact is I'm not really sure if he completely understands what he is in for. Not only am I ill and reliant on my bf, I become his future financial shortcoming. He will always have to be on budget and be the man whom is counting all his pennies (figuratively as there is no Canadian penny anymore). This was one of my biggest fears growing up. I've spent most of my life trying to not have to constantly worry about money. Now here I am forced to do so and if my bf does want to stick it out with me, I am forcing him to do the same.
What a terrible situation for anyone to be in. While this country does a great number of social programs well, like you said, there are some serious flaws like this, while at the same time Ottawa chooses to throw their money at things like stealth snowmobiles.
ReplyDeleteI think some people ruin it for the rest of us. I don't understand the difference between living with someone you love that is family nor a partner. I think any way you look at it, the best place for someone whom is disabled is in a home, with their loved ones, whom can support and look after them.
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