Mornings

They don't like me or I don't like them. I'm not sure which one. I've been having troubles sleeping at night yet again which makes it worse but none-the-less, I can rarely get out of bed in the am. It makes me sick when I am forced to for an appointment.

I feel like I waste my day. 

I'm angry at myself today as I know I of got up earlier but am still laying here in bed at 1:20am after checking out some Black Friday deals that I probably can't purchase. I just know that getting up isn't easy and I procrastinate doing so. The house being cold doesn't help as I get up and am shaky. These are the truth but aim mad at myself because they are excuses too. 

It's so not good for me as I don't go the bathroom or eat until noon or later. Today my poor dog is also waiting on me. She had a late night walk from my bf but he was running late this am and couldn't take her out. He also didn't feed the furr munchkins. I know it's not the end of the world, especially as ,y cat is passed on on my legs but I feel so guilty. 

My dog snuck on the bed this am too so it was snuggle test until 10:30 but I should of got up then. I know I didn't sleep until 4am and the phone woke me up at 9:30am but even when I do get sleep I feel this way. Why am I always so tired? Why do mornings not work for me? 

I don't know how I will ever get to the point of the dream of being able to do a 9-5 job again.

I want energy and motivation. I need to kick my butt into gear and just force myself out of bed despite the crappiness that comes with it.

Okay new reasonable get out of bed even if I'm dying time, professed publically is 10am. Let's see if my body can get used to it again and not be so sick. I'm sick of being so useless for such a big part of the day. I know I do my computer errands at this time but it's not enough to feel like I'm truly living when life is like this.

Any tips on how to motivate yourself to get up against pending health symptoms? I need some advice. 

Getting up now, 1:30pm. Must go to the ladies room, feed animals, walk the dog, eat, switch out the trellis out front somehow as it will snow again, maybe move some logs/wood before it shows again and they rot, brush my teeth, shower (try to), change and try to work on my thesis. So many spoons needed (spoon theory). Tomorrow is a new day to try and get started on life a little earlier.